{"product_id":"goddamned-freaky-monsters-audiobook","title":"Goddamned Freaky Monsters - A Horror Comedy (Audiobook)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eTHERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. NOW HE'S TRYING TO STOP THEM.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy name’s Bill Ryder and three months ago I was utterly consumed by the evil within me. Now I’m back, having awakened halfway across the globe, buck-ass nude and with no clue as to how I got here. The only thing I’m certain of is my captors don’t care how much blood they spill so long as they recruit me to their insane cause.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEscape might be the least of my worries, though. Civilization is teetering on the brink of chaos. Mythical monsters, once thought the stuff of legend, are breaking through the veil, intent on terrorizing mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil that’s about to carve a path of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOh, and did I mention that all of this is my fault? Because it kinda is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy only chance to stop it is to reclaim my life, reconcile with my friends, and muster all the attitude I can – because if I fail then\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eHell on Earth\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ewill become far more than just another stupid saying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGoddamned Freaky Monsters is a hard-hitting vampire comedy that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Fans of \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Nate Temple Series\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Dresden Files\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, or \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Montague \u0026amp; Strong Case Files\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, will want to dive into this hysterical adventure today.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon’t miss out on\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Tome of Bill\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– a thrilling and hilarious escape into a world of monsters, magic, and middle fingers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGenres\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e: Urban Fantasy, Horror Comedy, Action \u0026amp; Adventure\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eContent Warning\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNarrated by\u003c\/strong\u003e: Christopher John Fetherolf\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLength:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~10 hrs\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFormat:\u003c\/strong\u003e DRM-free MP3 or Cloud Player\u003cbr\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/rickg13\/goddamned-freaky-monsters-the-tome-of-bill-5-sample?si=0f3e5d0d3e7b481999aa0b665faf3e80\u0026amp;utm_source=clipboard\u0026amp;utm_medium=text\u0026amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Listen to a sample on Soundcloud\" rel=\"noopener\"\u003eListen to a sample on Soundcloud\u003c\/a\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/rickg13\/holier-than-thou-the-tome-of-bill-4-sample?si=0f3e5d0d3e7b481999aa0b665faf3e80\u0026amp;utm_source=clipboard\u0026amp;utm_medium=text\u0026amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing\" title=\"Listen to a sample on Soundcloud\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/rickg13\/the-mourning-woods-the-tome-of-bill-3-sample?si=0f3e5d0d3e7b481999aa0b665faf3e80\u0026amp;utm_source=clipboard\u0026amp;utm_medium=text\u0026amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing\" title=\"Listen to a sample on Soundcloud\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/rickg13\/scary-dead-things-the-tome-of-bill-2-sample?si=0f3e5d0d3e7b481999aa0b665faf3e80\u0026amp;utm_source=clipboard\u0026amp;utm_medium=text\u0026amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing\" title=\"Listen to a sample on Soundcloud\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/rickg13\/bill-the-vampire-the-tome-of-bill-1?si=7936962d10c645eaa3775b6f467c32bb\u0026amp;utm_source=clipboard\u0026amp;utm_medium=text\u0026amp;utm_campaign=social_sharing\" title=\"Listen to a sample on Soundcloud\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Horror Comedy Author Rick Gualtieri","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012705816709,"sku":"Bill_5_Audio","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0589\/7918\/8869\/files\/goddamned_freaky_monsters.jpg?v=1792783993","url":"https:\/\/store.rickgualtieri.com\/products\/goddamned-freaky-monsters-audiobook","provider":"Horror Comedy Author Rick Gualtieri","version":"1.0","type":"link"}